Saturday, April 18, 2015

The Pop Punk Dictionary

For all you kids who claim you really aren't just emo
BY LIV SLABY

Arizona Tea/Monster Energy Drink: Who needs water?
Basement show: They usually suck, but I go anyway because they're the coolest kind of show.
blink-182: The Founding Fathers
California: The promise land
Circle pit: This genre is too easycore for real mosh pits anyway.
Crowdsurfers: Hate them. Except when I do it at every show.
"Enema of the State": Basically the Bible.
Flannel shirts: Often worn over a band t-shirt.
Friends: One of the most overused words in this scene. Often spoken/sung as "with my friends".
Girls: I complain about them all the time. I'm so sexually frustrated.
Hometown: I hate it when I sing about it, and then print it on all of my band's t-shirts.
Hot Topic: So scene and lame. Half my closet is from there.
Local scene: I'll support it till the day I die!
Man Overboard: Provided us with life's mantra, "Defend Pop Punk".
Pants: Black skinnies ONLY. Maybe khakis.
Parker Cannon: God.
Pierce the Veil: They're pop-punk, right?
Pizza: Watch me survive eating only this.
Pointing: How to show that you're getting really into a song during a show.
Poser: Anyone who can't name every single song Real Friends has ever released.
Posi: Honestly, does anyone actually say this anymore? Often seen as "posi jump".
Sellout: Basically every band that has 100k+ on any social network.
Sick: See "tight".
Shoes: Vans. That's it.
Show: Only old people say "concert".
Skateboarding: Even if I can't, I pretend I can.
Snapback: Acceptable only when worn backwards. Essential wardrobe item.
Soupy: A prophet.
Stagediving: Probably my favorite activity.
Stoked: One of my only emotions other than sad.
Tattoos and nose piercings: The best accessories.
Tight: Can be used to describe anything.
Tour: Forcing my friends to come to out of state shows so it looks like my local band can pull in other cities.
Tumblr: Sold out years ago. (I update every day, please follow me).
Vans Warped Tour: The lineup has sucked since 2006, but I still go every year.
Vinyl: The cool way to play music. Cause, you know, it's totally practical.
Voice cracks: A common affliction suffered by pop punk vocalists.
Weed: Definitely not a drug. It's a plant! Straight edge for life!
Whiny: The adjective most commonly used to describe pop punk vocals.

Disclaimer: I mean no offense to the pop punk scene or anyone involved with it. I consider myself pop punk and often find myself fulfilling some of these stereotypes. But isn't it fun to make fun of yourself sometimes?